The World Cup is due to start in a few hours and since it hasn’t quite started yet I can remain objective about England’s chances, for the next few hours at least. Once it starts that all goes out of the window and I become as deluded as the next person. Seriously ask me Saturday and I will be 100% convinced England are going to win 3-0 against Argentina in the final and won’t put up with anything other than total optimism about our chances. So before logic goes completely out of the window I’m going to dust down my crystal ball, check out some tea leaves, go hire a TARDIS and lay down some predictions.
Winners: Brazil
England: Semis
Golden Boot: David Villa
Great Expectations Fail: Ronaldo
Team to Flop: Italy
Best Scoring Average (gpg): Spain
Highest Scoring Team (over whole tournament): Spain
Best Defensive Record (least goals conceded per game): Germany
Player of the Tournament: Rooney
Best disciplinary record (cards per game): South Africa
Worst disciplinary record (cards per game): Argentina
For the record if all these come true I may abandon the sceptical community for the far more lucrative psychic one. I’ve never really got that though, how psychics also seem to be associated with divination, and then how would you tell if something is going to happen to someone or if you are just seeing something that has already happened to them? It all seems very messy; maybe it’s all just a load of old bollocks.
Feel free to add your predictions below.
Here are my predictions for what they’re worth…
Group A – A tricky one for the host nation. Home support will be crucial. France’s recent record shows that they tend to crash and burn having done well in the previous World Cup. Winning in 98 was followed by a poor South Korea/Japan showing. Runners-up in Germany, I predict a flop. Uruguay missing from the world scene for some time may struggle. South Africa and Mexico to qualify.
Group B – Almost a mirror of Group D in USA 94. Argentina must be favourites despite an exceedingly average qualification campaign. Greece is as inconsistent as the British summer. The fact that it is in Africa may well play to Nigeria’s advantage. Argentina and Nigeria to qualify.
Group C – Group EASY (see above). England will qualify, and have to qualify to maintain any respect on the world stage. Given the Premiership quality in the American squad, one would have to fancy them also. The game on Saturday should decide the group winners. England and the USA to qualify.
Group D – it’s a cliche, but you can never write off Germany. Dismissed in many recent World Cups, they have always shown their stereotypical determination and thoroughbred pedigree. The Africa factor should favour Ghana but like the USA, Australia have many established Premiership players. Serbia can be dismissed, don’t travel well. Germany and Ghana to qualify.
Group E – Netherlands, Netherlands, Netherlands. This team has experience, natural ability, and is overwhelmed with creative talent. Japan appear to be very good at scoring in the wrong net and Denmark could well plod on underneath the radar. Will Cameroon wear basketball shirts? Will they dance by the corner flags? No one knows. Tough to call. The Netherlands and Denmark to qualify.
Group F – Paraguay and Italy. I really can’t see this going any other way. The two other teams, New Zealand and Slovakia, are certainly not packed full of big-name players, not always a disadvantage however. Italy and Paraguay to qualify.
Group G – Surely North Korea can be dismissed. They probably have more pressing matters to worry about back home. Brazil may meet a challenge in the Ivory Coast with their star quality and Portugal will need to prove they are more than just Ronaldo. A fancied nation will go out either way. Brazil and Portugal to qualify.
Group H – The much fancied Spain may decide they can play football this year. Your guess is as good as mine! Honduras have had something of a renaissance having been in the doldrums for many years and both Chile and Switzerland are regular Second Rounders. Chile and Spain to qualify.